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The first step in getting back with your ex is to figure out why the split occurred in the first place. In several cases, it may be because your ex could not deal with certain behaviors.If this sounds like your own breakup, then you have to accept it and move on. You’ll have to single out and eliminate those behaviors, promising never to start them again. Words mean little to former significant others, they need to see the “I’ve changed” in your actions. For one thing, your ex won?t believe you. No one changes fundamental aspects of themselves overnight. For your ex to even consider giving you a second chance they need to believe that change is real and lasting. You need to be able to provide solid proof to your ex that you are making a genuine effort to change and be a better you. For instance, reading books, researching for help online, taking classes or even therapy. The only way you can do this is if you do are in fact making a genuine effort to change. If you really want a second chance with your ex you will be more than willing to do this. If you just put on a show but the change doesn’t go deeper than the surface, you may get a second chance but it’s guaranteed not to last long. When your old relationship problems crop up, and you know they will, your ex will once again decide to end the relationship. They will feel tricked, betrayed and foolish. Once again, you will find yourself saying, “I want to get back together with my ex.” You had an opportunity and you wasted it. There is a third reason, over and above getting a second chance with your ex, to make a genuine change: for your own sake. The emotions and behaviours that caused problems with your ex are likely to affect other aspects of your life too. For instance, jealousy stems from insecurity and low self-esteem which may, in a subtle way, be causing problems at work, or in relationships with friends and siblings. By dealing with negative behaviours and emotions for your own sake you will end up with a healthier, happier and more attractive you ? someone who is far more likely to get a second chance with their ex, and get them back for keeps. Your ex will have more respect for you and your efforts than if they were simply part of a master plan to get a second chance.